Too Much Too Soon? Children Younger & Younger are Getting Beauty Treatments

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

When I was fourteen, my mother made an appointment for me to get my hair highlighted.  It was made abundantly clear to me, by my mom, many years prior to that appointment that I had bad hair.  I grew up believing that and relished the day I could finally do something about it.  Since that day, with the exception of going natural for a few years in my early twenties, I’ve never really seen what my real hair color is (No, I’m not a real redhead.)  Truth be told, my natural hair color is a bit blah; it’s a muddy, lifeless brownish-blondish color that, in my opinion, needs to be dyed.  However, I have to wonder why I think that way about it.  Is it because my natural hair color really is ugly or because this is what I was told about my hair when I was a kid?

Watching this video about girls as young as one getting manicures and pre-teen girls getting bikini waxes I realize that, while it all can be in good fun, too much primping, preening and changing one’s look at such a young age can wreak havoc on a girl’s self esteem.  Don’t get me wrong,  the idea of a spa day, to me, is like a day spent in heaven.  However, I’m an adult who has made peace with the elements that make up my physical body.  A day at the spa is a day of decompression and relaxation, not because there is something wrong with me.  But, what about young girls who spend countless hours at the salon and spa to change things that are natural about them?  Is she old enough and mature enough to know how to accept them?   Are we sending the wrong message?

Watching this video I was also reminded of my favorite quote by my friend and author of the book “The Fat Girl’s Guide to Life”, Wendy Shanker who said: “Nobody ever made money telling you that you’re good enough just the way you are.”

Obviously, image is important.  How we present ourselves outwardly is just as important as who we are on the inside, like it or not.  However, there is a fine line to be considered.  Are we altering our image to make up for something we lack or enhance something positive we believe about ourselves?

To me, young girls aren’t old enough to make that distinction.  My biggest regret in life, now being in my very seasoned thirties, is that I didn’t like and appreciate myself more when I was younger.  It’s not that I blame my mom for being so gung-ho to alter my looks as a teenager (or that she reminded me on many occasions the imperfections of my face to the point that I eventually got plastic surgery), it’s just that I realize I wasted a lot of time during my adolescent years wishing I was anything other than myself.   As an adult I see that, hey, I’m pretty cool.  Few children possess the objectivity like adults to make that distinction.

Sure, one could argue that taking a young girl to the spa or salon for hours upon hours of treatments is a totally innocuous thing.  Why not let your tot splash around in the pedicure water, get cute little designs on her toes while her face is slathered in some mud mask concoction?  Is that so damaging?  Well, who’s to say?   Don’t we get braces on our kids’ teeth the second they show signs of being crooked?  Nobody seems to think that is shallow.  I don’t think there is a black and white answer to that.  However, I am left wondering, regardless, why a pre-pubescent girl needs a bikini wax.

Watch the video and tell me what your thoughts are on young girls spending countless hours at the spa and salon.

  • Brandi

    Great post! When I was in elementary school my mother decided my hair was too straight and I should have a perm. I had perms for years until high school when I finally said “No more!” Then, for years, my mother complained about how my hair was too straight and it was always in my face. Apparently it was better if it was treated and fried with chemicals and then fried more with a curling iron and a liberal use of Aqua Net.

    I spent the majority of my teen and college years worrying about why my chest was too small and why I didn’t have boyfriends all of the time. When someone was interested in me I usually didn’t even realize it because I didn’t think I was attractive.

    I am, also, in my 30s and am a mother of two great kids. My daughter is 10 and I try very hard to make sure she knows that she is beautiful just the way God made her. And the most important way for her to learn that isn’t by my saying it but by me being happy with the way God made me. After all, Psalm 139:14 says “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” And if His works are wonderful, then I am wonderful and so is my child. So, yes I take good care of myself, but I am doing everything I can to be happy with the way I am aging so that I can model that contentment to my daughter.

    My son is 8, and just as it is important to model contentment to my daughter it is also important to model that to my son. I want him to know that women in magazines aren’t real women. I want him to know that when he looks for a wife, he needs to look on the inside and not the outside. I want him to be able to see the beauty in everything–not wonder what it is really like underneath.

    So, with all of that being said, I do think it is wrong for all of these girls to be hanging out at a salon or spa. They are beautiful just the way they are and, yes, I believe they will grow up with the same hang-ups that their mothers have. I saw a second grader at school today with this crazy elaborate braid/extentions hairstyle. A principal complimented her on it and asked where she had it done. The little girl, who isn’t more than 8, said “At the salon. It took hours.” And I was sad, because an 8 year old shouldn’t have to sit in a salon for hours to look beautiful–she already is.

  • http://www.hautecurvywoman.com Tovah

    This just makes me so sad. All these girls will have more than enough time to spend in spas later. They need to concentrate on having fun, learning, and working on their inside first.

    If, even adults, find a day at the spa (like me) a contrast between boring and painful, I can’t imagine what a child must think.

    Cruelty, just like those ridiculous toddler pageants.

    It’s all about the mothers’ insecurities.

  • http://www,hautecurvywoman.com tovah

    Sad and kind of abusive. What pretween WANTS to be waxed?

    Need to start working on your child’s personality, rather than on her looks.

    She’ll have the rest of her life bored and impatient sitting in spas having all that work done.

Close